For those of you who have been asking, here’s a little something about my bunny, Fluffy.
We got Fluffy on May 15, 2004 when he was 2 months old. The farm didn’t remember the exact date of birth so because he was 2 months we just celebrated his birthday on March 15. When we took him home I was 8 years old. My brother Mikey was about to turn 2. We had gotten Fluffy after our first rabbit (also named Fluffy) died after only about a month or two due to a birth defect. Part of the reason we had gotten a bunny in the first place was due to my mom losing her niece. My mom and I are huge animal lovers so my dad took me to the farm and let me get a bunny. The night we brought him home I sat on the couch with him for hours on end just holding him and petting him and talking to him. I wanted him to feel comfortable in our house, to love us and feel that it was his home too. Yes, we are crazy animal people in my house haha.
He had a cage in our house, and then we had a hutch built for him outdoors. On nice days we would let him sit in his hutch outside to get some fresh air, but not when it was too hot or too cold. He was never a rabbit that lived outside 24/7 he was a house rabbit. Although he had a cage inside, he had free reign of the house. He was really only in his cage when we were sleeping or when we weren’t home. Aside from that he ran around the whole house. He knew the kitchen is where we gave him carrots or other treats, if he had to go to the bathroom he would jump back into his cage and into his potty - yes we potty trained him. He never sprinted away from us either. We would take him into the back yard to hop around and although we got him a leash and harness at first, we were quick to stop using it. He never tried running away from us. He would hop around a little but never too far and he would always come back.
Him and I were best friends. He would follow me around the house. If I left the room he came with me. He would sit with me while I was watching TV and just sit and let me pet his ears or gently rub his neck. He was always more of a dog than a rabbit to my family. He was always with us, always running around, and knew who all of us were. He even knew my dad gave him food most often and he would nip him on the ankles for my dad to give him carrots.
We also called him Fluffanutter, Fluff, stink butt, Sir Fluffanutter and a variety of other silly names. He was an English lop eared bunny so we always said that if he could speak he would speak in an English accent. I used to lay down and talk to him for hours. Especially when I was younger, I would talk to him about everything. I told him everything.
He was playful too. My brother and I would take him in the basement where we had a lot of space and we would run and he would chase us. He would also push our giant yoga ball around with his nose into the goals set up in our basement so we would play soccer with him. He could go up and down the stairs as much as he wanted too and he had special spots that he had claimed for his own like under our dining room table where ironically, now my puppy Sammy loves to sit.
The worst part about having animals in your house is watching them get old, because they all do eventually. Fluffy started developing tumors, most of which weren’t problematic and a common thing for rabbits when they grow old. One however, was disgusting. It was hanging off and he would bite it and make it bleed and get it infect it. About a year ago he had to go into surgery for it. I remember being so upset. I knew Fluffy was old, he was almost 9 years old and I worried he wouldn’t make it out of the surgery but he did and was happy and healthy as ever.
Slowly he grew older though and his body stopped working the way it used to. He lost his vision, he had cataracts in both of his eyes. He couldn’t go up and down the stairs like he used too because it was too much of a struggle. He didn’t run around as much anymore, he just kind of sat in one spot in the sun and soaked it up.
The past few weeks is when it really got back. It went so fast. Remember how I said he was potty trained? He started peeing all over himself and if my parents took him out to give him a bath while I was away at school they said he would pee all over the bathroom floor.
Sunday, October 13, 2013 was the last day I got to spend with him. I came home from college that day and I went to say hi too him. He had always been a fatter bunny so he always had a good amount of meat on his bones. But when I ran my hand down his back, I felt his entire spiny sticking out as if there was nothing covering it but skin and fur. Same with his ribs. I noticed he had peed on himself so I gave him a bath, he just sat in the sink letting me bathe him, almost falling asleep a few times. One thing he always used to do was start scampering as soon as we put him down on a towel to dry him off a little but this time he just sat there. I toweled him off and brought him up to my room. I was exhausted and wanted to nap but for some reason I just felt that I had to hang out with him.
While in my room is where I noticed just how bad he had gotten. He would spring frantically without direction into walls, furniture, anything due to his loss of eye sight. He would fall which had never happened in the past. And he just didn’t know what was going on. While licking himself to dry himself off I would put my hand under and he would just continue licking my hand not even realizing it. I used to be able to say “Fluffy give me kissie!” and he would reach his nose up for me to kiss him but he couldn’t hear me anymore. He started trembling and I felt so helpless. I wrapped him in one of my sweatshirts and just sat with him holding him, he was falling asleep.
After a little while I put him back in his cage which was in a spot in the sun for him to finish drying off and to be able to rest. Later that night my dad told me he had been petting him and that he barely registered that my dad was there. I told my dad how bad he had been earlier and my family decided to call the vet in the morning. We didn’t want him to suffer or be in pain.
The next morning Sammy ran into my room as she does most mornings. But instead of being happy and licking my face and jumping on my bed to jump off and run out again, she sat at the end of my bed and whimpered, whined and barked softly at me. I was so tired because it was early in the morning I just figured she had to go to the bathroom and no one had taken her out yet but then she sprinted out when she heard my dad. A few minutes later my mom came in. I knew it was early already after checking the time when Sammy had come in so I didn’t know why she was waking me up but I was laying face down on my pillows and didn’t see her. All I heard was “Christina. Christina” and finally I answered and asked why she was waking me up and she just said “Christina, Fluffy passed away in his sleep last night.
It felt as if my heart literally shattered into a million glass fragments.
I sat straight up threw off the covers and saw her standing there, holding him wrapped in a towel like a baby. But he wasn’t a baby anymore, he wasn’t even Fluffy anymore. I don’t remember the last time I cried that hard. Sobbed even. I reached out my arms for him and my mom didn’t want to give him to me at first because of how hard I was crying. But I stood up and she put him in my arms before I sank to my knees hysterically crying. All I could remember thinking was “no no no no this isn’t real it’s just a dream, not my Fluffy not my Fluffy, not yet.”
Even Sammy was upset, that was her buddy. She had loved him too. My brother and I sat on the couch, Fluffy still in my arms with Sammy laying quiet and still staring at him. And if you know my dog, you know she’s only quiet and still when she’s sleeping. Eventually my mom took him from me. After my brother went to school, my mom dad and I went to the backyard where my hamster, Ashley had been buried when I was 7. My dad dug a hole and we placed our little guy in there. We marked the spot with a bunny statue my mom had bought years ago for Fluffy.
That’s a quick biography of Fluffy. But here’s what I learned
I have always struggled with faith. I was raised a Catholic, went to a Catholic high school and I have been attending mass at college. That doesn’t mean I haven’t struggled though with the idea of God and can something like that really exist? But I will thank God every single day for the rest of my life for giving me that last day with him. I felt as though he had waited for me. He waited to say goodbye to me. He was my best friend and he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. He was hanging on as best as he could. I would have never forgiven myself had I not had that last chance to make him feel loved, to take care of him and tell him how much I loved him. I told him that it was ok, that he could let go now. That he didn’t have to hurt anymore and that I would never stop loving him. I knew in my heart that it was the last bath I would ever give him, the last kiss I would give him on his nose while he was still alive. But I will never stop being grateful for that last day I had with him. That is all that I could have asked for. I am happy he passed in his sleep, in the home he grew up in and spent his entire life in, with the people who loved him more than anything in the world, who considered him part of our family as much as all of us are. I could not have asked for a better 9 years, 4 months and 13 days. I could have not asked for a better bunny. I could not have asked for a better best friend.
Rest in Peace, Fluffy.
Rudy Francisco (via mycollidingworlds)
hang on let me go get a mop to wipe up my tears.
Invitation to an Area night club party. The capsule was placed in water and the invitation appeared. Area was open from 1983 to 1987.